This was my farewell note sent to friends of Mum's to advise of her passing.
I am sad to have to tell you that Mum had a stroke on the Tuesday – the over 50’s Club that she went to rang to tell me she was ‘rather disorientated’ whilst with them. I didn’t take too much notice as she quite often didn’t know which day of the week it was (not being able to see – and not wearing her hearing aid she didn’t always hear the radio correctly). I rang later when she was home and she certainly wasn’t herself. Went down and took her to the Hospital (like everywhere nowadays, doctors are not around when you need them).
They thought it could be due to a bladder infection or the remnants of her pneumonia and put her on antibiotics. The following day she had an appointment with her doctor who thought the same.
Kay ( a good friend of us both – like a second daughter to Mum) stayed with Mum in the morning and I was with her in the afternoon. She wasn’t too bad, bit disorientated, but knew who we were. Around four o’clock she said she was OK and for me to go home. About an hour later Kylie (from the unit next to Mum) rang to say she had come across Mum out the front by the road disorientated and agitated. Back down I went and back to the hospital where they kept her – much to her disgust !!
While there she complained a couple of times of chest pains – they had already done CT and discovered the stroke – so guess she had a couple more episodes during that first week. The second week she went downhill daily and was not eating and certainly not strong enough to get out of bed.
Mum was Mum to the end – a few days before she left us, she decided she was fed up with lemonade and lemon squash and wanted some Brandy for a change. Told me she had some at home but didn’t want me to go and bring it back – the morning would do.
Next morning gave her a drink of brandy and lemonade – had one sip – her comment? where’s the dry ginger ale????
We progressed from sips from a glass to drops from a syringe to using the brandy for her mouth wash (every hour). She would grab hold of the brandy laden swab and not let go – made it hard for the nurses to clean her mouth out. Pete suggested the nurses hook the bottle up over her bed and feed it intravenously!! (typical male).
On the Friday morning, the nurse and I were giving her a hot towel bath, had done arms and legs and had just put the towel on the front of her ready to ‘pat’ it when she gave a lovely sigh and slipped away.
The staff at the hospital were great – they not only cared for Mum, but made sure I was comfortable and fed – when our time comes we should be so lucky to have such caring people around.
Mum didn’t want a funeral with all the ceremony and so there was just Pete, myself and the two girls, Kay and David. We kept her wishes – but she didn’t say anything about having a get together afterwards – and that is what we did a week later. Family and friends turned up to say goodbye to a lovely lady – it didn’t rain, there was no thunder and lightening – so guess she approved.