Clara Agnes Stanley 10/7/1913 – 18/10/2002
My Mum - My best friend
How does one go about describing one’s Mother – I have memories going back so many years – but I guess the strongest of all is her last couple of weeks.
After suffering a couple of minor strokes with no apparent ill effects, she had a third. Although she appeared to be ‘with it’ I had been back home only an hour when I got a call to come back to her – she couldn’t find the phone to ring me – her house was unfamiliar and she had wandered out the front to find someone to help her (Luckily the lass in the next Unit turned up home at the right time).
Needless to say off we went to the hospital for a check up – she told me, not long after arriving there, that this would be the last time – she would go out in a coffin – she did.
Mum steadily ‘faded’ away over the next couple of weeks – from one day asking for a ‘brandy’ instead of the cordial, then commenting that I hadn’t put in ginger ale – used lemonade – to having her drop of brandy via syringe and eventually the nurses used to dip the mouth swab in it – she wouldn’t let them take it out when they had cleaned her mouth – hung onto it for grim death.
The day came when the nurse and I were giving her a blanket bath – suddenly something didn’t seem right. I raced out and got hold of a friend to go and get Peter (my husband) and went back in – she gave a beautiful sigh and left us.
Our thanks must go to the staff at the Noarlunga Hospital, Doctors and Nurses who made her last 2 weeks as comfortable as possible – for not letting her suffer pain and for being there during the night with her when I was home sleeping.
From what I have gathered Mum was more like a mother to her two younger brothers (her own Mum was ill quite a lot of the time) rather than a sister.
She fondly?? Remembered falling off John’s motor bike and ruining a pair of stockings (in those days a precious commodity) and of John walking her round and round the block each night for 3 weeks – I was late arriving – finally made it on her birthday.
I think I miss that almost most of all – not sharing our birthdays anymore.
Mum and Dad met when they were working with the Engineering & Water Supply Dept – Mum was boarding at Crystal Brook at that time.
I have no memories of being at Pt McLeay – Mum told me that she used to train the local girls in housekeeping and they used to look after me at times.
Around the time of the war Dad was in Bedford Park TB asylum – conditions were not good.
Mum used to get 3pence a week for us to live on – she would save a halfpenny each week to buy butter flour eggs etc to make a cake for Dad – we would have a pennyworth of bones which would start the week as stew and by the end of the week be soup. We survived.
I remember visiting the Mosey family at Robertstown (friends of Mum and Dads days out that way) and refusing point blank to go to the toilet – it was an old ‘drop’ toilet out in the backyard. I was not going back there again if I could help it.
I also remember living at College Road Kent Town – the house is no longer there of course – it wasn’t all that far from Nanna & Grandpa Stanley's tis now the Bureau of Meteorology
Around 1952 we moved to 82 Tiparra Av, Parkholme – the house was a semi detached Housing Trust home and is still being occupied (2004).
Mum learnt to drive as Dad was in and out of hospital – I learnt to type while she was out on her lessons.
During the following years Mum was teaching Grade 3’s at Ascot Park Primary School – I was glad I was not in her class – she was so strict (by my standards) but the kids loved her and were always sorry to go up a year – they wanted her to keep teaching them. Her classes were around 40-43 children, many of whom had either behavioral or medical problems e.g. epileptic etc. Nothing seemed to faze her and in later times she would go out to various schools as a substitute teacher – amazing the principals and staff on her control of what were often disruptive children.
Whilst I was overseas in 1965 she went to the Adelaide Children’s Hospital as a Volunteer.
She saw a need for children (longer term illnesses) to keep up with their schooling and so started the school there. She was so successful that the Education Department took over and the school is still going today.
Other Volunteer work she undertook was at the Repatriation General Hospital where I was working. She headed the Craft Volunteers and between them made items for sale, sold them and bought ‘essentials’ for the various wards. She also did Craft work with the patients as therapy.
Mum and Dad had moved to Christies Beach by then so she applied for a job as Volunteer at the local Council Volunteer group. They nicely trained Mum to use a computer etc and on the last day of her training realised that she was over 75 and they could not use her services – too ‘old’ for insurance purposes.
She promptly went to Perry Park Aged Care Facility where she stayed as a volunteer for 10 years – only giving up at the beginning of 2002 due to failing eyesight. By this time I had been going with her for a couple of years, as she no longer held a licence to drive due to eyesight problems and I am still there. It was quite comical at times (to me, not Mum) when a Carer from one of the other Units would find Mum strolling through their area and they would ‘insist’ on trying to take her back to her room. BUT I’M A VOLUNTEER not a resident she would say !!!!
Mum won the inaugural local Council award for Volunteer Services to the Community – which she richly deserved.
She was ‘adopted’ by the members of the Noarlunga Rotary Club (Pete was 2ce President there) and would be seen on Australia Day helping to feed the 1000 people who would turn up for breakfast, If she could help she would – if she couldn’t (physically) then she was always there for support.
link to DAD